Friday, October 8, 2010

Metamorphosis !

image courtesy - google search
 I felt congested to the core and decided running away from everything was the safest option. I deactivated my fb account, stopped blogging, and took a few days off from college. Yeah. I have these strange phases in life, once in a while, when nothing seems right and I feel like packing my bags and moving to a new/strange city where no one knows me.I grow skeptical about myself, self-doubt sinks in and insomnia strikes, every chemical within my body seems out of balance.Absent mindedness and a lack of concentration make me feel as if Im in a different dimension, viewing things from a distance. I feel detached, out of sync, displaced from my ecological niche. A bird trying to thrive under water, or a penguin in the tropics. But thankfully these phases pass and I emerge with something positive.

I believe these phases are like the stages of metamorphosis for me. Just like a larva, changes into a pupa and a pupa into a butterfly. These transitions are changes, and changes, are something I find hard to adapt. I try to make sure the changes around me are gradual or minimal but when they arise within me, there's nothing I can do about it. It takes me time, it takes me getting used to, and until then, I wrap myself in a shield of emotions and thoughts and hence the troublesome phase. But once the change sets in, the shield begins to dissolve and emerges from within, a newer, changed version of me. The changes are minor, a mere difference in thought pattern, a remodeled idea of self, re-adjusted principles, reconstructed dreams, transformed ideas, or a refined personality. Nothing major, nothing macroscopically visible...

Im glad that phase is over, I'm happy to be out of the cocoon,  free and fresh :)

8 comments:

  1. oddly enough, this would be an extremely disconcerting blog to read right after watching Alienss

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  2. Thanks Tauqeer :) and it sure would be spooky Alpha Za :D but I assure you I'm no alien..or am I ? :p

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  3. Oh ,i suggest you to drop Medical and become a full time writer.

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  4. It happens with all of us....especially the best of us! The ones who are constantly moving forward towards something bigger and better....the constant working tends to take it's toll...n we find ourselves wishing to run away from it all...bt life stands to be lived and enjoyed...good to know you got ur mojo back!!

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  5. @ Yaseen Ch -Hehe, thanks, If I werent a med student I would've probably taken up literature as a subject :)

    @ Phunk Factor - wow, You gave a really deep insight, it actually made me feel positive about it, thanks :)

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  6. Welcome back honey :). But phases are a part of our life. We go through them constantly.

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  7. Metamorphosis is so periodical sweet Najwa :-)Glad that u're optimistic about it!

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