Metamorphosis !

image courtesy - google search

 I felt congested to the core and decided running away from everything was the safest option. I deactivated my fb account, stopped blogging, and took a few days off from college. Yeah. I have these strange phases in life, once in a while, when nothing seems right and I feel like packing my bags and moving to a new/strange city where no one knows me.I grow skeptical about myself, self-doubt sinks in and insomnia strikes, every chemical within my body seems out of balance.Absent mindedness and a lack of concentration make me feel as if Im in a different dimension, viewing things from a distance. I feel detached, out of sync, displaced from my ecological niche. A bird trying to thrive under water, or a penguin in the tropics. But thankfully these phases pass and I emerge with something positive.

I believe these phases are like the stages of metamorphosis for me. Just like a larva, changes into a pupa and a pupa into a butterfly. These transitions are changes, and changes, are something I find hard to adapt. I try to make sure the changes around me are gradual or minimal but when they arise within me, there's nothing I can do about it. It takes me time, it takes me getting used to, and until then, I wrap myself in a shield of emotions and thoughts and hence the troublesome phase. But once the change sets in, the shield begins to dissolve and emerges from within, a newer, changed version of me. The changes are minor, a mere difference in thought pattern, a remodeled idea of self, re-adjusted principles, reconstructed dreams, transformed ideas, or a refined personality. Nothing major, nothing macroscopically visible...

Im glad that phase is over, I'm happy to be out of the cocoon,  free and fresh :)