Friday, July 24, 2015

Journaling

I was going through all my posts today. It was interesting to go through the chronicles of my past and revisit the uncertainties and doubts I had. Its even more interesting to see how far I've come from them. How my plans turned into reality and how my dilemma shaped into a decision over time. It gave me an insight, a realization that all that I'm worried about today would be over tomorrow.

There were posts about how I love neurology, a post a few months later about how I wasn't so sure about it anymore and then another one on how I'm confused between Neurology and Internal medicine. Well, here I am today, 4 years later, an Internal medicine resident !

I'm in 2nd year of my Internal medicine residency. Residency, something that seemed so distant and hard to get into is already under my belt ( for the most part) and I'm doing well at it. If I had to go back to my past self,  I'd give myself a pat on the back. I wont tell her not to worry, I wont tell her to take it easy. I'd tell her that she is doing the right thing, I'd tell her to keep going strong and the results are always there. All those worries, those plans and sleepless nights actually helped me get here, and they made me strong enough to stay here and face the challenges that the future brought.

And now I have different kinds of problems, a different set of worries, uncertainties, tribulations and stress. But going through this blog and reading about my own past gives me the insight to understand that they will all be gone soon, and I'd be smiling at them later! 

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Second Arrow

As per a classic sutra of Buddha.

If someone shoots you in the foot, don't pick up the bow and shoot yourself in the second foot. Don't make your sufferings worse, in other words, by arguing with what's so. That's a second arrow . Accept pain. Don't criticize yourself, or others, for feeling pain: that is a Second Arrow. Don't regret what cannot be changed, or try to predict what cannot be known..



Excerpt from Knocking on Heaven's Door by Katy Butler

Friday, December 27, 2013

Forgotten entities

Do you forget stuff ? Like sitting in front of those gates at the airport, as you walk to board the plane you leave something behind! A pen, earphones etc. You never really realize its gone until later. By that time the dear commodity is either someone else's possession, is in the trash, or maybe lying in a cold dark bin of lost and found in the corner of a busy office. Does losing that item change your life in anyway ? What if at a point in life you left behind a part of yourself and just moved on. Oblivious that you are now missing a fragment from yourself you keep walking until something triggers the awareness. Now, I repeat the question, does that change you in anyway ? Had you been any different if you hadn't left it behind ?......We all forget. What from yourself have you forgotten to carry on ? A hope, faith, trait,or a dream maybe ?

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The three 'Happiness concepts'


Comparison kills. Dont compare your real life to others life as it appears on social media. Dont compare your life to others even if you know them closely. You dont know what they had to suffer in the past and you dont know what their future holds for them.

When God said he created everyone equal I believe that it also means that he gave us equal challenges, problems and happiness. It may not be apparent to us but if you look at it closely you can find that it holds true pretty well. Here are the three 'happiness concepts' that have always helped me understand and accept reality. They weren't as structured until I sat down to write about them but here's how I've designed them

Past/Present/Future theory

The people you see happy in the present might be the ones who have had a painful past. And someone you see suffering in the present might just have a very prosperous future. So the happiness we as humans experience in our lives is all equal and comparable to others, but its how its distributed through our lifetime that  makes the apparent difference. There's another way to put it as well; there are people who appear to have an entire lifetime filled with sufferings and sacrifices. Sacrifices for their family, their country etc but that is made up by happiness in the hereafter as a reward for their good deeds. So in reality its a win win situation either way.

The distribution of assets

You cant get a perfect life ! You just cant. Perfect is ideal and ideal is not real. Have a friend who has a brand new car, a six figure salary and an uptown home that you've been dreaming of but can't afford ? Well guess what, he/she is also the one who admires your family that he/she doesn't have. What we have in life is ours, it should be valued and not compared. You might not have the ideal job that someone else has, a perfect spouse like your friend, the latest car like your neighbor, or a child like everyone else you know. But what you do have is also something that many others yearn to have. Believe it or not but there are people out there who compare their life to yours just as you do to theirs. No one has everything, and if you think that's not true, think again or look closely.

Individuality

Okay, so you might think "Well he/she might not have the family that I have but the car that I want. Wouldn't it be better if we could trade our lives !? To hell with family, I just want that car". Naah, it doesn't work that way. What we have in our lives is what we are designed for. Some of us are designed for comfort, others for adventure, others for socializing etc. And what I have is what my niche is. If you have a family and not that car its because you deserved it more. Its what you need at that point in time, because inevitably life takes you where you're supposed to be.

All that said. Its human nature to complain and compare but try to break that habit. Train yourself to seek happiness in what you have. Smile at whats yours and also whats not ; learn to be happy for others because you are just as lucky as them, in your own special way :)

 The three factors that I just shared are the few of many that I could write about. I hope I shall be able to write about something like this again

Happy Holidays and Happy Happiness :)

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Update # 1 - The Pakistani girl aint in Pakistan no more :(

Okay so this has really been bothering me, my blog is about 'The days in life of a Pakistani girl' and I always posted about life in Pakistan, but now that I've moved, does that kill the entire theme of my blog ? Secondly am I still a girl and not a woman ?

I moved to the US this year, its not that US isn't home to me, it was for many years but getting a one way ticket to here for Karachi was quite painful. I dont know when I'm going back to my friends and that just makes me sad, plus its also nagging me about what this blogs gonna be about now !

The second part about being a girl or a woman, I GRADUATED !! Wooohooo ! So yeah I'm a physician/doctor and I dont think I qualify to be called a girl. It doesn't help though that people around me still think I look like a high school student and have expressed their thought UMPTEEN times. Not funny.

So here's what I've decided. Since Im a Pakistani originally, I can just blog as a Pakistani girl living and enjoying in America and still missing Pakistan. Its gonna be a blend of both east and west :)

As for the girl/woman dilemma, I'm just going to call myself a girl until I get atleast 10 strands of grey hair :D




Re-incarnation

I've been brooding over whether I should be writing another blog entry or not for quite some time. So much has changed since my last post. It doesn't even feel like I'm the same person. I've been on a roller coaster ride since the last post with some really high highs and very low lows. I've experienced life hurl one challenge after the other at me, but I've also had some of the best memories during this time. I wont go into the details of all that happened at this time because one it'll end up being the longest blog entry ever and second, I dont think I'm ready to talk about it here. That said, I have brought myself to write again and I shall continue to do what I loved doing so much. So stay tuned for updates, the Paki girl is back in business...

Friday, April 13, 2012

Rich and pretty, or wild and free ?

Our class had a bonfire last month and my friend and I were supposed to host a party quiz with random questions for all our classmates. While thinking of the gazillion questions, here's one interesting one that kept me thinking for long.
 
                                Would you rather be rich and beautiful, or wild and free ?

An immediate response made me sway towards the 'rich and beautiful' option cuz I'd obviously be on top of the world if I had that, but then I paused to think, Is that really it ? Would that be all I want from life ? And then I said to myself with a deeper conviction that it was the other choice I'd really go for. I'd rather be wild and free. Why ?


Because wild and free means, exploration, discovery, freedom and a continuous progress. Being rich and beautiful probably gives you all that you'd want for a materialistic life but it all also makes you stagnant, what do you strive for when you have everything ? and secondly as they say ( in the spider man movie :D ) that with great power comes great responsibility, with great wealth comes an obligation to mold yourself in a certain way, behave a certain way and that just means giving away your natural desire to live the way you want free from all expectations. I'd rather roam around in my sneakers and laugh in the crazy way I do then walk in stilettos all day. I'd rather be amused at watching a chirping bird on a tree, or marvel at a flower than live in a villa and have nothing to do. I'd rather play around in the rain and get wet and dirty than sleep on a water bed.




I know opinions differ and that might not be your choice but for me that's the ideal way to live. Free and innocent like a child, where every day is day to discover and a day to be amused. 





Picture courtesy - Subhanzeid.wordpress
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